I Have Wandered

I have wandered lost and blind,

Within the confines of my mind.

My mental state was slowly sinking.

I needed to explore my thinking.

But the dolor that is lodged

Within my brain, still remains,

When I am done rethinking.

 

My mind has such a hollow shape,

An empty cage I can't escape.

If all my thoughts could be directed,

A useful structure thus erected,

Something good and useful might

Even be gained, or obtained,

Some evil circumvented.

 

Would I, could I, do some good?

I have no doubt at all I should.

Alas, I doubt that I am able,

The notion seems like just a fable,

For the focus, I am missing,

And the lack, holds me back,

Making me quite unstable.

 

[instrumental metal segment here, with maybe some incomprehensible growl vocals]

 

Chained to myself, I cannot break away.

I babble, but I know I have nothing good to say.

Sick to death of life, I am terrified to die,

I question all my goals, and I cannot answer why.

My dark thoughts tear me up, I have no one to confide,

It's eating me alive, all bottled up inside.

I want to go away, but there's nowhere left to turn.

I'm doomed to ride it out, and then in hell to burn.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

 

In the dark I sit and brood,

Savoring my somber mood.

But all my thinking turns to folly,

Empty, hollow, meloncholy,

And dejected, I return

To what I know, so I go

Back to the crass and bloody,

 

For I am quite unstable,

Oooooooooooooooooooooooh!

And I am done with thinking.

 

Microsoft Has Nerve

I just directly and personally witnessed the Automatic Updates system of Windows 10, flashing a computer's firmware without getting any kind of permission for that specific action from the user or system administrator.

The PC in question is a recent-model (less than three months old) Dell desktop, though I'm not sure whether this fact is significant.

I'm not going to explain the implications in detail, because if you don't already have a pretty good idea, you likely wouldn't understand the explanation either.

I don't happen to know whether the motherboard on this model has a backup firmware chip, in case of power outage during flash. Hopefully it should, because that is a reasonably common feature these days. But I don't feel like opening the case to verify it at the moment. Nonetheless, I'm going to give Microsoft the benefit of every doubt here and tentatively assume that surely they are only doing this on systems that have that safeguard. (Not because of virtue, but because of the potential for really nasty bad publicity.)

The stated reason (which was displayed on screen as the flash was happening) is, of course, security; but Microsoft cares about your security like Apple cares about your budget. With that said, I looked at the firmware setup after the flash occurred, and it doesn't seem any more egregious than the usual UEFI setup. I'm tempted to put a small Devuan install on the thing, even though it isn't needed on this system, just to verify that it works as expected; but I don't see any indications in the firmware setup that would suggest a problem in that regard, at this time. Secure Boot is enabled, but it appears to still be possible to disable it. So if this is a major power grab or exclusivity lock, I'm missing something.

But I sure don't like the precedent.

Londonderry Err

O [person], Dear,

Mine heart, mine heart is broken,

For I dispair, to ever hear a word,

A word from you,

A word that love betokens,

That word I long to hear,

But I will not.

 

And so I go,

I go but I am saddened.

I go to live a life of solitude,

A life alone,

Without you in my presence,

Oh [person] dear, oh dear,

I am alone.

 

So fear ye not,

Oh [person] dear, be happy,

For if I leave, I leave you well alone.

And if I go,

I'm sure you will find someone,

A better man, for you,

Than I could be.

 

And as for me,

Mine end, mine end is fitting,

There is for me, a better match indeed.

For if I can't

Have you then I want no one.

And that is good,

For no one wants me too.

 

Sung to the tune Londonderry Air