The GOAT

Verse One:
We couldn't believe it, although we were told.
He wasn't an actor, musician or such.
He came out of nowhere and wasn't that old.
And no one expected from him all that much.
When we finally noticed him,
He didn't seem that great.
How could we have known about
His complicated fate?
We thought we knew about him:
He grew up down the road.
But when his life was finished, (finished)
It turned out he's the GOAT.
 
Bridge:
It was in the dark at night,
My people made their way.
And when we saw the dawning light,
We knew we couldn't stay.
The fighting and the looting then
Were like a holiday.
We shouted in excitement,
But we barely got away.
We had to hide the evidence,
We had to burn our clothes,
But we forgot we'd left him there.
We'd left him there exposed,
And he became the GOAT.
 
Verse Two:
He wasn't important, as far as we knew.
And so when he walked by, we all turned away.
We laughed behind his back, in front of him too.
We thought he was nothing, till that fateful day.
And when it finally happened,
He suffered all that pain.
The things that happened to him then
Were simply not humane.
He didn't try to stop it,
Just took it like a sport.
He took it all and finished, (finished)
Because he was the GOAT.
 
Chorus:
He stood accused of all our crime,
The greatest scapegoat of all time.
They laid it all upon his back,
And so he took up all our slack.
He took it all and paid the cost,
An endless well of pain and loss,
The greatest scapegoat of all time,
The greatest scapegoat of all time.
 
Verse Three:
They asked for his defense. He kept his mouth shut.
He just wouldn't answer whatever they asked.
He could have gone free if he ratted us out,
But he remained silent and finished his task.
And when they read that judgement
He didn't say a word.
He let them sentence him to death,
Although it was absurd.
He knew that we were guilty,
But he was not a turncoat.
He took the execution, (finished)
Because he was the GOAT.
 
Chorus:
He stood accused of all our crime,
The greatest scapegoat of all time.
They laid it all upon his back,
And so he took up all our slack.
He took it all and paid the cost,
An endless well of pain and loss.
He owned our debt and paid our price,
Our greatest scapegoat, Jesus Christ,
The one who paid for all our crime,
The greatest scapegoat of all time,
The greatest scapegoat of all time,
The greatest scapegoat of all time.
 
Final Chorus:
He stood accused of all our crime,
They laid it all upon his back,
The greatest scapegoat of all time.
The one who took up all our slack.
He took it all and paid the cost,
An endless well of pain and loss.
He owned our debt and paid our price,
Our greatest scapegoat, Jesus Christ,
The one who paid for all our crime,
The greatest scapegoat of all time,
The greatest scapegoat of all time,
The greatest scapegoat of all time,
Because he was the GOAT.

Sheet music is available at musescore.com. Besides lead and backup vocals, the arrangement that I put up there also calls for oboe, piano, timpani, a drumkit, violas, and double bass. However, I believe the song could be adapted for other combinations.

Purple Frogs

I search the world for purple frogs.
They bring me such delight!
I love their croaking, smooth and clear,
Their colours bold and bright.
The way they swim around the bog,
And lay their eggs at night,
Their mating dance while people sleep,
Is such an awesome sight!
 
The purple frogs are edible,
And this is my advice:
If you can capture purple frogs,
They bring a handsome price.
When cooking purple frogs in stew,
I season them with spice.
Their smoky taste, with vegetables,
Makes dinner very nice.
 
I teach the purple frogs to speak,
And I have always found,
That once they learn our English words,
Their thoughts are most profound.
This world has many governments,
Some good, some inept, some harsh;
But soon with the help of the purple frogs,
They'll all be ruled from the marsh!
 
This is written in the common meter, so it can be sung to any number of existing tunes. Nonetheless, I intend to write original music for it at some point. Ad interim, I saw no reason not to go ahead and post the lyrics. Enjoy, or whatever.

Sing to Yourself and to God

I sing, when I am alone,
Then I get into the zone.
I sing with the rest of my squad.
I sing even though I am flawed.
I sing and I clap, stomp, and nod.
I sing to myself and to God.

Waking up to dawn's first light,
I stand up and stifle a yawn.
I didn't get enough sleep last night;
I'll take what I got and move on.
I wanna be happy and bright,
Like a person whose troubles are gone.
Well music makes me feel alright, [so]
I'll sing to myself and to God.
Oh I'll sing to myself and to God.
I gotta sing to myself and to God.

I sing, when I am alone,
Then I get into the zone.
I sing with the rest of my squad.
I sing even though I am flawed.
I sing and I clap, stomp, and nod.
I sing to myself and to God.

I sing to myself and to God.
I sing to myself and to God.
Sing to yourself and to God.

When everything goes your way,
When everything's going to pot,
When you're having a really good day,
And when you're really really not,
Nevermind what people might say,
Set aside that insecure thought.
They are not your judges today,
Sing to yourself and to God.
Sing to yourself and to God.

Sing, sing when you are alone.
Sing and get into the zone.
Sing with the rest of your squad.
Sing even though you are flawed.
Sing, now clap stomp and nod.
Sing to yourself and to God.

Voices

Why're you always asking who I'm talking to?
I thought it was apparent, I wasn't talking to you.
You ain't got no business, asking about what I said.
It wasn't meant for you but for the voices in my head.

Voices in my head, voices in my head,
When I hear them talk to me, I've never been mislead.
Voices in my head, right between my ears,
They have kept me company for many many years.

People often interrupt the voices in my head.
So then they have to say again, whatever they just said.
I know the people mean no harm, they're simply unaware,
But to the voices in my head, it really seems unfair.

Voices in my head, voices in my head,
When I hear them talk to me, I've never been mislead.
Voices in my head, voices in my mind,
They tell me things, and then I find,
That I'm the only one they told,
The only one of all mankind,
The only one who stayed enrolled,
The only one who can still hear the voices in my head.

[whispered] The voices in my head, say that I'm inbred,
[whispered] 'Cause both my grandparents also heard voices in their head.

I am always talking to the voices in my head.
If I don't keep them listening, they talk to me instead,
And once they start to argue, I can't hear myself think.
If I don't keep them quiet, they drive me to the brink.

The voices in my head, voices in my head,
When I hear them talk to me, I've never been mislead.
Voices in my head, right between my ears,
They have kept me company for many many years.
Voices in my head, voices in my mind,
They tell me things, and then I find,
That I'm the only one they told,
The only one of all mankind,
The only one who stayed enrolled,
The only one who can still hear
The voices in my head.
The voices in my head.
The voices in my head.

Bubble Wrap

I like [beat] bubble wrap.
Pinch it once, it goes snap.
Again and again, pop-pop-popping,
Once you start, there's no stopping.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
You agree? Stomp and clap!
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
Ev'ry time I get a package, [I]
Tear into it like a savage,
Ripping tape and shredding cardboard,
Cutting boxes, plunging inward,
Take the product out the carton,
Gotta see what it was packed in,
Hoping for some mindless pleasure.
Did my goods come wrapped in treasure?
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
Pinch it once, it goes snap.
Again and again, pop-pop-popping,
Once you start, there's no stopping.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
You agree? Stomp and clap!
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
[I]
Just can't seem to get enough of
This fantastic packing stuff of
Legend. You know, it's my fav'rite,
I just love it, gotta have it,
Love to pop it, have to pop it.
Once I'm popping, I can't stop it,
Oh, it's gone now, what an outrage!
How long till I get a package?
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
Pinch it once, it goes snap.
Again and again, pop-pop-popping,
Once you start, there's no stopping.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
You agree? Stomp and clap!
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop.
Pinch and pop till I can't stop.
Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop.
 
Pop and pop and pop and pop.
Pop pop pop pop, Hop on Pop.
 
"We / like to hop on top of pop."
Hop hop hop hop, Hop on Pop.
 
"You / must not hop on top of pop."
Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop.
 
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
Pinch it once, it goes snap.
Again and again, pop-pop-popping,
Once you start, there's no stopping.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
You agree? Stomp and clap!
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
I like [beat] bubble wrap.
I like [beat] bubble wrap!

Pretty Little Yellow Flowers

Popping up free all over the place
Bright as the joy on a child's face
Golden yellow like a wedding ring
Where they appear you know it's spring

Fields as white as your grandfather's hair
Windborne seeds distribute here and there
Planting more flowers for you and me
Flowers everywhere for all to see

Dandelion's root is tough as nails
Everyone who tries to kill it fails
Grumpy curmudgeons all hate its guts
Well if you ask me they're just plain nuts

Terminology Across the Political Divide

I want to address the way we use words to describe our political differences, in contemporary America. Specifically, I want to discuss the deep asymetry of how we use these words, depending on which side of the political spectrum is being discussed. There have always been some differences, related to the spectrum itself: words such as "liberal", "conservative", "radical", "reactionary", even "left" and "right", are obviously aimed in particular directions, and that's useful, because it's nice to have the ability to indicate political leanings. These words are generalizations, of course: not all conservatives have exactly the same political views. Not all liberals have exactly the same political views. But the terms are useful anyway.

But those are not the terminology differences I'm talking about.

One group (or part of a group) of protesters this year went beyond the original peaceful protest activity, siezed control of several blocks in the downtown area of a major city, and held it for more than a week. Another group (or, again, part of a group) of protesters elsewhere in the country, later in the year, went beyond the original peaceful protest activity, siezed control of a government building, and held it for a couple of hours. These are in many ways remarkably similar events. But we describe them with very different terminology. In the one case, we mostly call the participants "demonstrators", "protesters", and only occasionally say "rioters", perhaps because we're afraid that if we call them rioters, we'll be labeled as racists. In the other case, we rarely call the participants anything so downplayed as "rioters", instead reaching for breathless hyperbole: they are "domestic terrorists", and it's "insurrection" and possibly even "treason".

I want to be clear that I'm not excusing what was done in either case: both groups of rioters should be prosecuted for rioting, for the destruction of property that they caused, and for the disruption to public life. (In both cases here, I'm talking only about the persons who participated in the violent siezing and occupation of areas. The peaceful protest marches, in both cases, would've been fine, if things hadn't gone so much further; and of course we cannot prosecute anyone for peacefully marching down a street carrying a sign: that's a constitutionally protected freedom. Even if what's written on the sign is wrong, it's still a constitutionally protected freedom.)

In cases where people were harmed (which did happen: mostly it was the rioters themselves, and at least in the second case some of the responding police officers), the rioters should be held accountable for that as well. If there were deliberate killings, I'm not aware of it; but if there were, then murder charges would be appropriate. For accidental killings, there's another charge, manslaughter; when it happens during the commmission of another crime, such as rioting, that may be aggravated manslaughter. Criminals should be prosecuted for the crimes they committed.

But it's not right to just pick out random (or perhaps not so random) other crimes, crimes that were not in fact committed or even contemplated, and attempt to apply them arbitrarily. "Treason", to pick out one particularly egregious example, has a fairly particular definition under US law. Treason is when a person who owes allegiance to the United States (for example, by virtue of having sworn an oath to defend it, or by being a member of the US armed forces; merely being a citizen is not the standard here) gives material comfort or aid to an enemy nation, i.e., a foreign country with which we are at war. Note that acting against the government, or against current political officers of the United States, is not treason. Assasinating the President, for example, would not be treason. It'd be a very serious crime, but it wouldn't be treason. Treason is when you act not against individuals or the government, but against the entire nation, betraying your country to an enemy power, when you are supposed to be defending it. At least, that's what it is under US law. So for example if a high-ranking military or government official sells military secrets to the commies, that's treason. If some loon shoots the President, that's not treason. It's a different crime and, legally speaking, a less serious one, though still plenty serious enough to warrant the death penalty. Let me be perfectly clear: if the rioters had somehow managed to get an assault rifle into an active session of Congress and shot a bunch of Senators and Representatives, that would be on the one hand a much, much more serious crime than what they did; but on the other hand, it *still* wouldn't qualify as treason under US law. It would be mass murder among other things, and the people who did it would be in some very serious legal trouble; but it would not be treason.

The definition of terrorism is not quite so narrow, but fundamentally terrorism is about terror: mailing out envelopes of anthrax so that people are afraid to get the mail; crashing planes into buildings so that people are afraid to fly in a plane or work in a tall building; blowing up truck bombs in public places so that people are afraid to go out in public; setting fire to elementary schools so that people are afraid to send their kinds to school; these are all examples of terrorism, and they all have one thing in common: they scare not just the people who are directly involved, but people all over the country who are worried something similar might happen to them. That's what terrorism is. If you aren't at least attempting to frighten the population, then whatever you're doing isn't terrorism. Forcing your way past a police barrier and into a government building, isn't terrorism. It's tresspassing and destruction of property, and if you do it as part of an unruly mob it's rioting, and when the police try to stop you and you keep going that adds several additional charges, and if some people in the mob and/or some of the police officers involved become injured or killed, that adds yet more (increasingly serious) charges. But none of those charges are the same as terrorism.

When you call ordinary rioters "terrorists" or "insurrectionists" or call their actions "treason", you are ignoring the actual meanings of words and making up random claptrap; and you are accusing people of various serious capital offenses (markedly more serious than mere first degree murder), who are in fact guilty only of various non-capital offenses, with maximum sentences involving prison time. Maybe you're doing it to be dramatic, or maybe you're doing it to be persuasive, but whatever the reason is, what you're doing is wrong. You're slandering (or in print committing libel against) the criminals, by accusing them of much more serious crimes than they've actually committed. Whatever political point you're trying to make does not give you the right to just accuse people of things you know perfectly well they did not actually do. It's deceptive, dishonest, disingenuous, wrong, and illegal (or at least legally actionable in civil court, i.e., you can be sued for a lot of money for doing it). It also turns the criminals into victims, which is really unfortunate; I don't like to be in the position of defending criminals. I know there are people whose whole job is defending criminals, but I didn't sign up for that. Please stop making me do it.

Those Were the Good Old Days (2020 Edition)

Oh sometimes I think back to when I was younger, 
Life was so much simpler then.
Dad would be out with the guys,
Getting a burger and fries,
Or maybe going bowling again.

Oh, and mom would be fixing something in the kitchen,
A casserole for a church carry-in,
And I'd spend the weekend hanging out with my friends,
Wandering round town
And going into stores on a whim.

Those were the good old days.
Those were the good old days.
The weeks go by, and the memory fades.
But those were the good old days.

I can still recall, my favorite mall,
The one with the big grocery store
Oh, they hired a man, just to, shake your hand,
And say "Howdy" when you walked in the door.

The produce was nice, always was a fair price,
It's such a shame that they closed down that mall.
Oh I don't know when they'll ever open again.
Maybe next year in the fall?

Let me tell ya now:
Those were the good old days.
Those were the good old days.
The months come and go, and the memory fades.
But those were the good old days.

Do you remember Christy Anne?
She was my high school romance.
She had a pretty smile, and she held my hand,
So I took her to the homecoming dance.

But then halfway through the night I left her high and dry.
I left the dance with her former best friend,
And her open-mouthed stare
Became a withering glare, 
But I'd still do it over again.

I tell ya buddy,
Those were the good old days.
Those were the good old days.
The years pass away, and the memory fades.
But those were the good old days.

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
My old life is gone, and the memory fades,
But those were the good old days

— Parody of Good Old Days by Weird Al Yankovic

Flattening the Curve Too Much

There's been a lot of talk, during the 2020 virus pandemic, of the need to flatten the curve. The reasoning, which is valid up to a point, is that hospitals don't have enough equipment (e.g., ventilators; Galion hospital for instance has two of them) to treat as many people at once, as would need to be treated if the virus ran its natural course. This is true up to a point, as you can see in places like Italy, which didn't flatten the curve nearly enough and have consequently seen a disturbingly high mortality rate. The American medical care system would be more difficult to overwhelm than that of most other countries. American culture is obsessed with medical care; on an average day, something like 10% of the population receives medical care of some kind, and that's if you don't count prescription drugs as medical care; if you do, it's more than 50%; so our medical care industry is pretty substantial. It's expensive (and Americans spend a disturbingly large amount of money on medical care), but it's substantial. Nonetheless, we don't want to be in the boat Italy is in. We want to flatten the curve —up to a point.

But there is such a thing as flattening the curve too much.

I live in Crawford County. It's difficult to get an exact population figure, because population changes over time, but the 2018 estimate is around 41 and a half thousand. (This is down from almost 44 thousand in 2010. The population is on a long-term decline since the mid twentieth century, because most of the graduating students who go away to college, never come back. There are very few jobs suitable for college graduates here, and an employer would be mad to locate here if they need that kind of workforce, which creates a vicious cycle. What, if anything, we could be or should be doing about that, is an interesting question, which I will not attempt to address today.) It's now 2020 and we're due for a new census, but meanwhile I will be conservative and estimate that we have at least 40 thousand people in Crawford county.

We've had, according to the latest figures, which are about a day old at the time of this writing, 37 known cases of the virus. Being generous and assuming that only one case in twenty is confirmed and known (bearing in mind that some people never show symptoms), we could guess that perhaps as many as 750 people in the county have been exposed to the virus and are no longer in danger of catching it, either because they already have it, or because they are immune. (The difference between already having it and being immune may be of great personal importance, but for the calculation we are about to do, it actually doesn't change the figures, so it's something we don't need to distinguish in our estimates.) The true figure is probably markedly less than 750, but I'm being conservative here.

We started canceling stuff back on March 6th, and at that time we had 0 cases in Crawford county. (Some people were already being tested; but those early tests ended up coming back negative.) Our number-of-cases figure is from April 20th, a difference of more than six weeks. If the curve were linear, this would mean we'd need to stay home for about six more years. The curve is, as the word "curve" suggests, not linear. Technically, it's still an exponential growth curve. But we've flattened it so much, that the difference from linear is not nearly as dramatic as you'd normally expect. For the last month, the only time the statewide increase in reported cases has been noticeably different from linear, was in the last few days, when comprehensive testing in the prison system confirmed a large number of already-suspected cases. Prisons are a particularly problematic environment, for a variety of reasons (nursing homes aren't much better), so you expect a higher curve there. For most of the state, and especially for smaller communities, the curve is effectively so close to linear as makes no practical difference. Maybe we won't have to stay home for six years, but if something major doesn't change, it's going to be months and months and months. Which is really not ok.

We have flattened the curve too much.

We cannot, realistically, all remain cooped up at home for even one year. Inevitably, at some point, we are going to have to start going out again. And then the curve will be less flat, possibly a lot less flat. The natural shape of this curve, when people aren't all staying home, is very steep. I propose that we would have been better of with a curve somewhere in between these two extremes. Flattened, but not so completely flattened.