I Knew

I knew.

If i was honest with myself, I knew.

I didn't want it to be true,

But when I thought it through,

I knew what you would do,

Because I knew you,

So I knew. I knew.

 

I knew I shouldn't go along with your plan,

So when you came to me with it, ... I ran.

I tried to get as far away as I could.

I thought I'd avoid you, and do as I should.

But then you cornered me, and I came unglued.

Well tell me, what else was I going to do?

 

I knew.

If i was honest with myself, I knew.

I didn't want it to be true,

But when I thought it through,

I knew what you would do,

Because I knew you,

So I knew. I knew.

 

So I told them they were evil, like you said.

You made me do it, let it be on your head.

You should've seen them all squirm, when they heard.

Oh they knew that they were wrong, by your word.

So of course they begged for mercy, on their knees.

And of course you let them live, as you pleased.

 

I knew.

If i was honest with myself, I knew.

I didn't want it to be true,

But when I thought it through,

I knew what you would do,

Because I knew you,

So I knew. I knew.

 

You're a gracious and compassionate God,

Slow to anger and abounding in love.

Can you tell me what was I thinking of?

I ran away from you because I knew...

 

I knew.

If i was honest with myself, I knew.

I didn't want it to be true,

But when I thought it through,

I knew what you would do,

Because I knew you,

So I knew. I knew.

 

If i was honest with myself (I knew)

I didn't want it to be (to be true)

But I knew as soon as I thought it through,

I knew exactly what you wanted to do,

I knew you, God. (I knew you, I knew you)

So I knew. (Oh I knew.) Yes, I knew.

I knew. I knew. I knew.

 

---

These lyrics are in the public domain worldwide. Sheet music is also available.

Darkness

I know there's light out there, but

I seem to live in darkness here.

I drown myself in gloom,

And do I even care?

 

Leave the truth on the shelf:

I'm lying to myself.

I say that I'm O.K.

Believe it if you dare.

 

When you read my mind,

You know my thoughts and then

You can tell just anyone you please.

Nothing is the same,

Once people know my shame,

I'll go into hiding.

 

What if I run away?

I'll leave behind the life that I know, but

There's no safe place to go.

They'll find me now wherever I am.

They'll follow me there, and

They'll follow me back (again).

Where can I go?

Where can I go?

 

---

 

My friends want to protect me,

And to keep me from all consequence.

They say it's safe in here,

But do I even care?

I want to go outside.

I want to see the world.

I want to live my life,

Though I know life's not fair.

 

When the day is done,

I need to rest, but now

I can see how much is left to do.

No one helps me out

With my unending task.

I'll never be finished.

 

What if I run away?

I'll leave behind the life that I know, but

There's no safe place to go.

They'll find me now wherever I am.

They'll follow me there, and

They'll follow me back (again).

Where can I go?

Where can I go?

 

---

 

In the light of day,

What can I say? I can't

Ever seem to make up a good excuse.

All I do is lie,

To justify myself.

And no one believes me!

 

What if I run away?

I'll leave behind the life that I know, but

There's no safe place to go.

They'll find me now wherever I am.

They'll follow me there, and

They'll follow me back (again).

Where can I go?

Where can I go?

 

American History: Public Transport and the Automobile

This keeps coming up, so I'm writing it up here so I can link to it.

Public transport in America is significantly less pervasive than in Europe and many other parts of the world. People often imagine that this is because America is less advanced. But the history is almost the opposite: America adopted a new technology (specifically, the automobile) earlier and faster and more enthusiastically than other countries.

Many Americans believe that the automobile was invented here. It wasn't; but the automobile assembly line, and with it mass production of motor vehicles, was. During both world wars, American industry, which already had quite a bit of experience mass-producing vehicles, supplied the allies with large quantities of military vehicles. Everyone knows about the planes and ships and tanks, but the factories also cranked out large numbers of military trucks and jeeps, because transporting troops and supplies is essential to any war effort.

Americans are often shocked to learn that during WWII, Germany, widely regarded as having been an industrial powerhouse at the time, was heavily reliant on horses for military transport. That feels like an anachronism to Americans; we associate military use of horses, with medieval cavalry, or with our mid-nineteenth-century Civil War, in which most of the soldiers had single-shot muzzle-loading rifles. We don't think of military horses and machine guns as belonging to the same era. (There were both horses and gatling guns in the Spanish American war, but our history classes tend to gloss over that one in a rush to get to WWI and WWII, which are considered more important.) It's quite weird to us that an industrialized country with the ability to make things like airplanes, would use horses in the military.

After WWII, we had a major economic boom. Most of Europe largely missed out on this, because a lot of their infrastructure had been bombed into oblivion, and they were still recovering, rebuilding. America didn't have to rebuild, and with all the soldiers back in the country to work regular jobs, production and income both rose. Many women continued to work outside the home, for the first time (on any kind of large scale) in our history during peacetime, and as a result, families now had two incomes and could afford more stuff than before. The factories turned their production to civilian purposes, and most American families purchased a number of things for the first time in this era: cars, major appliances, cameras, radios, etc. (Many families' earliest family photos are taken in front of the family car, because both were new.)

With so many American households owning cars, public support for building better roads skyrocketed, resulting in, among other things, the Interstate highway system. People often blame the interstates for causing America's love affair with the car, but it's really the other way around. Yes, there were politicians who had other reasons for wanting to build them, but they were able to get popular support because all the new car owners wanted better roads to drive on. Meanwhile, passenger railroads started losing customers left and right, until after a few years they started going out of business like it was going out of style. Yes, America *used* to have fairly pervasive passenger rail service. I live in a city of ten thousand people (called Galion) in central Ohio, that *used* to have passenger rail service, but it was discontinued in the late sixties or early seventies, because people weren't using it any more. Other cities in our area, exactly the same thing happened. Now, the nearest passenger rail station is an hour and a half away by car.

America didn't fail to build a public transport network. We *had* one, and we abandoned it because we didn't need it any more. You talk to Americans about passenger trains, and we think the nineteenth century called and they want their technology back.

Does this mean that widespread use of cars is inherently better than widespread use of passenger rail? Not necessarily. But cars are what America collectively chose, and there were and are reasons for that choice. It doesn't mean we don't know how to build a passenger rail network. We had one, and we stopped using it, mostly on purpose.

Not Too Bad

Here we go again... I wrote more song lyrics. I can't decide if this one is cheerful or depressing. I guess it might depend on the music you set it to.

Well I woke up this morning,

And I got out of bed,

And I managed that all on my own.

I've got someplace to live,

And I keep myself fed,

And I don't have a kidney stone.

 

I'd say it's,

Not too bad.

I don't know why I'm sad.

Even on a bad day,

I'm really doing ok.

My life is not too bad.

 

Well the town where I live

Has a grocery store,

With a pharmacy six blocks away.

I've got electricity,

So I can watch some TV,

And I shower most every day.

 

I'd say it's,

Not too bad.

I don't know why I'm sad.

Even on a bad day,

I'm really doing ok.

My life is not too bad.

My life is not too bad.

 

Oh, I've got a nice sink,

And there's water to drink,

And a toilet that flushes my poo.

And I had enough time,

To write up this rhyme,

To explain all my blessings to you.

 

I'd say it's,

Not too bad.

I don't know why I'm sad.

Even on a bad day,

I'm really doing ok.

My life is not too bad, oh no.

My life is not so bad.

 

I've got access to a phone,

So I'm not really alone,

And I've even got a custom ringtone.

I've got window screens,

To keep out the bees,

And I don't live in a war zone.

 

I'd say it's,

Not too bad.

I don't know why I'm sad.

Even on a bad day,

I'm really doing ok.

My life is not too bad.

Oh yeah, my life is not to bad.

I'd say it's,

Not too bad.

I don't know why I'm sad.

Even on a bad day,

I'm really doing ok.

My life is not too bad.

Even on a bad day,

I'm really doing ok.

My life is not too bad.

My life is not too bad.

My life is really not that bad.

Really not so bad.

 

A Week Since You Left

The last set of song lyrics that I posted were really upbeat and positive and sappy. In the interest of balance, here is one that leans in the opposite direction. I'm not actually bipolar. It's just poetry. I can write this stuff without actually feeling the emotions the narrator must be feeling. Honest.

---

It's a week since you left,

And I'm so bereft,

A mangled-up ball of emotion.

I feel like a sham,

And I don't give a damn.

I'm struggling to go through the motions.

 

I can't let you see that I'm falling apart,

But when I go out I don't know what to do.

I can't let you know that you've torn out my heart,

So I try to pretend I can live without you.

 

It's a week since I've slept,

And I'm such a mess,

But I put on a brave face and fake it.

I think about you,

And I know what to do.

It hurts but I just have to take it.

 

So no one can know that I just want to die.

I pretend to believe I can find someone new.

I walk through the park and I stare at the sky.

If you found out you'd hurt me, that might hurt you.

 

For a week you've been gone,

And my life is just done,

Since I have no more use for my future.

I'm deeply obsessed,

And completely distressed,

Because thinking about you is torture.

 

But I relish the hurt, it reminds me of you,

I don't want to forget or get over the pain.

You're my reason to live even though we are through,

And forgetting would mean that I'd lose you again.

 

For a week I'm alone,

And I guess that's the plan,

Even though it's incredibly lonely.

I will learn not to fuss,

And I'll do what I must,

And I'll think about you, and you only.

 

So go, live your life, and forget about me,

I promise I won't let you know of my pain.

I wish you the joy, be content and carefree,

Go, leave me behind, and find true love again.

 

Everything About You

M:	The way you smile when I look at you,
M:	Your gorgeous hair and the way you laugh,
M:	Your sense of humor splits me in two;
M:	Your wicked smirk breaks my heart in half.
F:	I like the way that you look at me,
F:	Love the admiration in your stare.
F:	So tall and handsome and so carefree,
F:	Your humble blush caught me unaware.
Duet:	Everything about you,
Duet:	Everything that makes you
Duet:	Who you are.
Duet:	It isn't any one thing,
Duet:	It's everything.
Duet:	Every single thing,
Duet:	It's everything about you.
M:	I love your voice and your burning eyes.
M:	I love your wit and your curvy form.
M:	You are as clever as you are wise,
M:	As full of grace as you are of charm.
F:	Your corny jokes keep me entertained.
F:	My tummy flips when you hold my hand.
F:	Your creativity is unrestrained.
F:	You always ask, but you don't demand.
Duet:	Everything about you,
Duet:	Everything that makes you
Duet:	Who and what you are.
M:	It isn't one thing,	same time
F:	Isn't any one thing,
Duet:	It's everything.
Backup:	That's what I love,
Duet:	Every single thing,
Backup:	... is what I love,
Duet:	It's everything about you.	same time
Backup:	... what I love about you.
M:	I can rely on your common sense.
M:	I love your drive, know that you'll succeed.
M:	You always know when to take a chance.
M:	You make it clear to me what you need.
F:	You're always working with those burly arms,
F:	But you have time to tell me how you feel.
F:	Your compassion takes so many forms,
F:	Your generosity is so unreal.
Duet:	It isn't any one thing,
Duet:	Because it's everything.
Backup:	That's what I love,
Duet:	Every single thing,
Backup:	... is what I love,
Duet:	It's everything about you.	same time
Backup:	... what I love about you.
Rap Bridge: [M should have no breaks in his flow as he raps like J-None in Valhalla Calling.] [F talks over him, overlapping the end of his line and start of the next one.] [F speaks at a slower speed than M, in a breathy alto half-whispered bedroom voice.]
M:	Hold up now, I gotta verbalize
F:	Please do advise.
M:	What you mean to me; I must vocalize
F:	I can empathize.
M:	What it's taken me a while to realize,
F:	Let me emphasize:
M:	'Cause you look at me and I'm mesmerized.
F:	You're the prize,
M:	I'm awestruck, bowled over, and hypnotized,
F:	Your face a sunrise.
M:	My blood pressure is on the rise.
F:	Did you know I fantasize
M:	You know how I like to just look into your eyes,
F:	about touching your hair?
M:	I get so lost in your gaze that it's hard not to stare,
F:	I don't even care.
M:	'Cause no other girl that I've met can compare,
F:	You're so debonair,
M:	You've got your own style, your own kind of flair,
F:	I fell out of my chair,
M:	And I really must say that we make quite a pair,
F:	Consider my plight,
M:	'Cause whenever I'm sad, you are such a delight,
F:	Now I'm upright,
M:	Your mind is so keen and your face is so bright,
F:	But I'm still quite a sight,
M:	You take all my passions and set them alight,
F:	I'm getting excited,
M:	Awakening all of my base appetites,
F:	Weak in the knee,
M:	So I swear to you that now I'm gonna be
F:	'Cause I think I see
M:	Your number one fan and your best devotee.
F:	How you feel about me,
M:	'Cause I'm looking at you and you're looking at me,
F:	And that's gotta be
M:	And you're giving off all of the right energy.
F:	The best thing that's happened to me.
M:	I'm picking that vibe up and liking it too,
F:	That makes two:
M:	And now that I've got it I know what to do,
F:	I'm liking it too.
M:	And my days of pining for you might be through,
F:	Yeah I'm with you.
M:	'Cause I'm telling you now that I'm in love with you.
F:	Oh, me too.
M:	I never knew, until I met you,
M:	How much emotion my heart could feel.
Duet:	It's a little too good to be true,
M:	But now I surely believe it's real.
F:	I never worry that you're gonna cheat:
F:	I can see the focus in your eyes.
Duet:	It's your love that makes my heart beat.
F:	And when I'm with you the time just flies.
Duet:	Everything about you,
Duet:	Everything that makes you
Backup:	Who...
Duet:	Who you are.
Backup:	... you ... are.
M:	It isn't just one thing	same time
F:	It isn't any single thing,
Duet:	It's all of the things.
Backup:	That's what I love,
Duet:	Every single thing,
Backup:	... is what I love,
Chorus:	It's everything about you.
Duet:	Every single thing,
Chorus:	Everything about you.
Duet:	It isn't any one single thing.
Duet:	It's all of the things.
Backup:	That's what I love,
Duet:	Every single thing,
Backup:	... is what I love,
Chorus:	It's everything about you.
Duet:	Every single thing,
Chorus:	Everything about you.
M:	Everything about you.
Backup:	That's what I love.
F:	It's everything about you.
Backup:	Everything I love.
Duet:	Everything about you.
Chorus:	Everything about you.
Chorus:	Everything about you.

Cut out of a Mountain

It was a rock,

Cut out of a mountain.

Not by human hands.

It was a rock,

Cut out of a mountain.

Do you understand?

 

[Musical introduction]

 

The wind blows in the north.

The wind blows in the south,

Eventually we all strike out,

And everything we care about

Goes flying in the wind.

 

It was a rock,

Cut out of a mountain.

Not by human hands.

It was a rock,

Cut out of a mountain.

Do you understand?

 

Everything that we have done,

However great, the time will come.

We build it tall.

We build it strong,

But it will fall,

Before too long.

Everything that we have made

Is doomed to fail, and then to fade.

Everything that we have built

Will break and let us down.

 

We work the long day through,

But what good does it do?

We hurry forth, we hurry back,

Running on our weary track,

Until it's gone again.

 

It was a rock,

Cut out of a mountain.

Not by human hands.

It was a rock,

Cut out of a mountain.

Do you understand?

 

Everything that we have done,

However great, the time will come.

We build it tall.

We build it strong,

But it will fall,

Before too long.

Everything that we have made

Is doomed to fail, and then to fade.

Everything that we have built

Will break and let us down.

 

[musical outro]

 

Do you understand?

It was a mountain...

Do you understand?

It was a mountain...

[repeat, fading to silence]

No, Google, I didn't meant that.

Can we please just stop trying to implement autocorrect features?

Computers aren't smart enough to correct a native speaker's grammar. Computers will probably never be smart enough to correct a native speaker's grammar, and when they try, it just makes things worse. Please, just STOP.

Dust

There's one thing in this life that you will learn:

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

They say time is the fire in which we burn.

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

Eat and drink, and weep with those who mourn.

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

Death comes for every person who is born.

Dust you are. To dust you will return!

Dust you are. To dust you will return!

It was years ago, I was twenty-two,

Ready to go, fresh out of school.

I had so much that I wanted to do.

I had no idea I was such a fool.

There's one thing in this life that you will learn:

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

They say time is the fire in which we burn.

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

Eat and drink, and weep with those who mourn.

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

Death comes for every person who is born.

Dust you are. To dust you will return!

Dust you are. To dust you will return!

I couldn't change the world by myself,

[But] I had ideas and a full bookshelf.

I saw the world and I saw the grief,

[But] if we worked hard it could be enough.

There's one thing in this life that you will learn:

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

They say time is the fire in which we burn.

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

Eat and drink, and weep with those who mourn.

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

Death comes for every person who is born.

Dust you are. To dust you will return!

Dust you are. To dust you will return!

It seemed to me that the plan was sound,

Get a group together and buckle down,

With sweat and tears and some common ground,

We could bring the world around.

There's one thing in this life that you will learn:

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

They say time is the fire in which we burn.

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

Eat and drink, and weep with those who mourn.

Dust you are, and to dust you will return!

Death comes for every person who is born.

Dust you are. To dust you will return!

Dust you are. To dust you will return!